Leaving Chappo

I’ve been a little quiet for 3 weeks cause of exams, I have certainly learnt a lot studying for them, not sure how much is going to stay in, but time will tell right?

I started moving most of my stuff out of my room tonight, taking advantage of my dad’s venture in to celebrate the end of exams. The rest will go tomorrow and Monday.

Here are some fun facts:

• I’ve been living here in for about 28 months if you also subtract time away because of holidays (but was here from late Jan 07 till late Nov 09)
• I lived in room 69 and room 54
• The current principal of the college, John Woodhouse was in my room in 1973. (Well at least someone by that name)
• I broke 1 window (on Monday) during my time.
• Lived next to an Asian drug supplier (Shu, is a pharmacist)

I’ve had a great time living here and although I have a long list of things I really don’t like about it, the experience has been a positive one. I’ve made great friends and enjoyed living in a large communal group. I’m an extrovert so this is good for me.

Through it all, I’ve come to know myself better and this has been insightful for my life in the future.

So to all the boys (men?) I’ve lived with, THANKS.

 

Managing Anxiety (Part 4)

Control TMA (Too much activity) and electronic over-stimulation

This seems to be getting harder and harder. As a closet tech nerd and sociophile, I love my Facebook, Twitter and blogging. My iPhone keeps me constantly connected and therefore constantly distracted too. Along with that I also subscribe to many other blogs and news feeds, so there is always new information at my fingertips. But I know I need to disconnect and take a rest from time to time. Therefore I have technology fasts every few months for a day. TMA can actually make you less productive, less attentive to whats actually going on in front of you and cause more stress and anxiety.

Fo me I need to be more disciplined in my use of technology. to not be enslaved to them and use them for good. Graham Stantons article on twitter is a cracker (read it). I also need to shut myself down from electronic stimulation earlier in the night. I heard somewhere that the blue light coming from screens keeps you awake, and therefore you should stop looking at them an hour or two before heading to bed.

Have fun

Sounds simple and for some it is. I think for me, this is true. I like to have fun, and be silly from time to time. People who are always serious are boring, sorry you just are. Having fun is good for you. It relaxes you and helps deal with anxiety.

If you struggle to have fun regularly, make an effort to do so.  Work out what you have fun doing, and try to do that more often than you do now.

Keep reflecting on how the truths of the gospel speak into your particular situation

It is always good to be reminding yourself of God’s love, grace and providence in your life. Different situations provide different challenges but the Gospel speaks to all in every situation. My personal experience is that the more I am aware and dependent on God they less worried, stress and anxious I am.

Seek professional help if you need it

As people in leadership, ministers often feel they need to have it all together, that they aren’t allowed to show weakness. But if you are struggling with stress, anxiety or other similar problems, don’t be proud, instead seek professional help.

This is the last post in the series, I hope you have benefited as I have.

Other Posts:

• Introduction
• Stress
• Symptoms
• Bible
• Managing Anxiety 1
• Managing Anxiety 2
• Managing Anxiety 3

 

Managing Anxiety (Part 3)

Watch your diet

A healthy diet means a healthy body. The wrong food can make you feel terrible and lack energy rather than give you the energy to do your job. Be careful in times of stress that you don’t engorge yourself on ‘comfort’ food; such as chocolate, chips, lollies, greasy fatty foods. I personally need to watch this more, I’m terrible at consistently having breakfast (the most important meal they say). So often my food intake is lunch, dinner then midnight snack (This could be because of my sleeping patterns (more on that below)). Bad news.

More advice that my dad consistently gives me. Drink lots of water. It’s good for hydration and good for your digestion and urinal tracts.

Be wary of caffeine and alcohol intake

I hate coffee, but have a favourable disposition to Red Bull, not a good alternative for a caffeine hit. Having realised this I have cut down on my Red Bull intake, its probably down from 5 or 6 a week to 1 or 2 even none sometimes. But I must admit my Coke intake has increased a little (not good for above). You need to ask yourself, can I start the day without my morning coffee? If not, then you may be a slave to it. I suggest a caffeine fast, you might notice the terrible way your body reacts for a week, but I reckon its worth it.

Alcohol is also a big danger, our society is an example of this. When we are going through a tough time we go out and get drunk to numb the pain, forget our worries and wake up feeling worse than before. Alcohol is a depressant, not good if you are already depressed. You may have issues with alcohol if you need a glass of wine or scotch before you head to bed.

Get enough sleep

We are all different and require different amounts of sleep to function. I need as much as I can get. If I don’t get it my body will take it for me, ignoring all alarms and attempts to wake me. Certain periods of life will mean you get less sleep (new borns and young kids). But a good sleep does an amazing amount of good when it comes to dealing with stress.  A lack of sleep will only increase stress and anxiety.

I need to fix my sleeping patterns. I’m a night owl but need 8 hours of sleep. Ideally for me this happens between 2-10am but this makes it harder to function with the rest of society, so I need to change it. Some nights I experience (self diagnosed) mild insomnia and cant sleep until 4 or 5 even though I had an early morning that day. I’m trying to deal with this, but prayer would be great.

Other Posts:

• Introduction
• Stress
• Symptoms
• Bible
• Managing Anxiety 1
• Managing Anxiety 2

 

Managing Anxiety (Part 2)

Have ‘down’ times each day and each week

We need rest, even during the day. So go do something not related to work. Do something physical; my dad said watching TV isn’t a proper break from study cause your mind is still working too much. Physical activity releases mental stress.

So have down time each day but also try to set aside a good chunk of time aside each week to just chill out. As a single guy there are plenty of things I could do. If your married do something fun with your wife (in addition to your date night), if you have kids, play with them, spend time with them.

Another good idea is to have extended time of silence and solitude on a regular basis. So if you can organise a full day a quarter and 1 weekend (could be 2 days midweek) a year to leave the city and spend time praying, meditating on scripture and planning the future. Work on your life not just in it.

Resolve conflicts and relationship problems quickly

One of the major causes of stress is relational conflict, so the quicker you can resolve them, the less stress and anxiety you will have to deal with. Pretty simple. There will be cases when this is harder but strive to resolve things quickly because if they are left unresolved bitterness can creep in and destroy.

Exercise regularly

This is obvious and we are told it all the time but so often fail to listen to the advice. They say 3-5 sessions of 20-30 min per week. I know when i’ve done exercise it make me more relaxed and less stressed. I love surfing, and when I haven’t been for a while I can feel myself becoming more tense and stressed. Work exercise into your weekly routine, block out time for it.

Previous Posts:

• Introduction
• Stress
• Symptoms
• Bible
• Managing Anxiety 1

 

Managing Anxiety (Part 1)

One of the great aspects of the lecture was the really practical advice for keeping a handle on stress. One thing to realise is that there will be times when everything goes pear shaped and stress is inevitable. But we can keep the normal day to day, week to week stuff under control when life is more constant. Plus we can also create ways to be prepared for when life does go pear shaped.

The following list of advice is in no specific order or theme, so it might feel a bit random but it is all worth it, so bear with me. It is also aimed at a specific audience, that of paid ministry, but if you aren’t in paid ministry there are still nuggets of gold in here.

Make choices for a more balanced life

It is really easy to be always working, always switched on. This is especially true of jobs that have no defined hours of work, like ministry. For many it can be easy to just keep working. This will be at the expense of your family, friends and most importantly your relationship with God.

Therefore it is important to have a healthy balance of work and non-work. Divide your day up into work and non-work and seek to stick to these guidelines. Because of the nature of ministry one thing I learnt during my apprenticeship at Narrabeen is to think of the day in 3 sections; morning, arvo and evening. Try to have one of these portions of the day free most days. Sometimes it wont work, but if you are working all three every day of the week, that is dangerous.

Place ‘Margins’ in your life.

Learn how to say “NO” to people, including your boss and the demanding parents. Also learn to say “no” to good things. You can’t do it all. This will also help create a margin (i.e. space to move) for your life. When the week does become pear shaped, if you have filled your margin, there is no moving space and life becomes very uncomfortable very fast.

Reform your thinking

• challenge your mistaken beliefs
• remember that we are called to be faithful but God gives the growth
• change from ‘what if …’ to ‘so what’ – don’t take everything so seriously
• be gentle on yourself
• fight perfectionism
• beware of self-pity

 

Previous Posts:

• Introduction
• Stress
• Symptoms
• Bible

 

Anxiety: Worry and the Bible

As a Christian, understanding how to respond to stress and anxiety can be difficult. There is the balance between determining if someone has a sin problem (e.g. they are worrying to much and should instead be trusting God to provide and take care), if they are reacting in a proper and healthy way to that which is occurring (e.g. Jesus sweating blood in the Garden of Gesthemane  when under an amazing amount of stress and pressure) or if it is an uncontrollable physiological reaction (e.g. medical depression and anxiety that some people are more prone to that others).

The Bible provides us wit a few instructions regarding worry, I think they are useful when thinking about the issues of stress and anxiety.

“This is why I tell you: Don’t worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food and the body more than clothing?  26 Look at the birds of the sky: they don’t sow or reap or gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you worth more than they?  27 Can any of you add a single cubit to his height by worrying?  28 And why do you worry about clothes? Learn how the wildflowers of the field grow: they don’t labor or spin thread.  29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was adorned like one of these!  30 If that’s how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and thrown into the furnace tomorrow, won’t He do much more for you—you of little faith?  31 So don’t worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’  32 For the idolaters eagerly seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  33 But seek first the kingdom of Goda and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.  34 Therefore don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:24-34)

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, because He cares about you. (1 Pet 5:6-7)

It is good to be reminded to be trusting in God for all that we need, to cast our cares upon the Lord, so to speak. But one point that was made during the lecture was that quoting bible verses at people who are struggling with stress and anxiety is not always the best solution. Professional counselling may be required, even medication, to deal with the anxiety problems people may be facing. Here is where wisdom is required, and also a humility to see that we can’t fix all the problems that people come to us with.

Previous Posts:

• Introduction
• Stress
• Symptoms

 

5000

Since I moved to wordpress in May last year I have had 5000 hits on my blog.

Here are some fun stats:

• Average visits per day 2009: 12
• Busiest day: 85, 13th August 2009
• Posts: 228
• Comments:190

Top 3 Posts:

• More on Limited Atonement
• #7 How to Handle your Criticism
• Garage Hymnal

Top 3 amusing search terms used to get to my blog:

• emo spiderman
• satan loves you
• pray to be salty

 

Anxiety: Symptoms

The following symptoms are taken directly from the lecture unedited. The one’s in BOLD are ones that I personally experience from time to time, usually a rare occurrence.

Physiological symptoms:

• weak all over
• rapid, pounding heartbeat or palpitations
• tightness around chest
• hyperventilation (feeling of not getting enough air)
• periodic dizziness and sweating
• muscle tension, aches, or tremors
• chronic fatigue

Cognitive symptoms:

• I can’t carry on. I’ve got to get out of here
• What if I make a fool of myself?
• People looking at me all the time
• I’m having a heart attack
• I’m going to faint
• I’m going crazy
• I can’t go on alone; no one will help
• I can’t go out; I will lose control
• I feel confused and can’t remember things

Emotional symptoms:

• I’m full of fears that I can’t get out of my mind
• I feel like something terrible is going to happen
• I worry excessively
• I feel uneasy and alone a lot of the time
• I often feel isolated, lonely, down in the dumps, and depressed
• I feel I have no control over what happens to me
• I feel embarrassed, rejected and criticized
• I often feel like screaming with anger

Previous posts in the series:

1. Introduction
2. Stress

 

Anxiety: Stress

Stress is part of our lives. Some stress can be good, it makes us act when action is needed. But too much stress can paralyse us causing us to be ineffectual and leading to other issues. Stressors (stuff external to you that creates or builds stress) influence our lives causing stress, when we have too many of these stressors we can go into distress. Distress occurs when we are unable to deal with and alleviate the stressors.

Adrenalin

Some of us like stress and think that we can’t operate without it. We need the stress to set our adrenal glands into action and give us that hit to get stuff done. This occurs when deadlines approach, when we pile out plates to overflowing with to do’s. This often comes at the expense of other more important parts of our life (family, friends, relationships in ministry).

Fight/Flight

One of the big causes of stress is conflict. We each have our own way of  dealing with conflict, but most of them fall into two categories. We either stand up and fight; we lash out, get angry, say terrible things, even actually throw punches. Or we run away (flight), we avoid the conflict: don’t talk to the person involved, change the subject, conveniently change small groups, ministry teams, or more drastically, move cities or head overseas “on mission” or for “self discovery” or some other purpose.

For me I am more likely to avoid the conflict, this is dangerous and can lead to further pain, it festers and causes more division and unease. Equally fighting can do the same, it escalates the problem, leading to further stress and pain.

Since this our typical and most often sinful response, there needs to be a third, gospel, way to approach conflict. Mark Driscoll, in his Trial series talks about this (I just need to work out which sermon). We need to respond with grace and understanding, not excusing people for mistakes but neither reacting in anger by fighting or in avoidance. We must let the cross shape how we deal with conflict and stress. When there was conflict between us and God, Jesus went to the cross to resolve that conflict.

 

iPhone Greek Geek

For all my MTC crew out there, I have got back into using my Greek vocab app on my iPhone.

It’s called iVocabulary, you have to pay for it, but it’s well worth it. You can load the set text vocab lists onto it and Bobs you uncle or πατηρ your daddy.

If you have a mac, use a wireless network and sync it with Provoc

If you are a PC user, don’t worry, come see me and I will load all 4 years of vocab onto your phone for no charge.